Thursday, January 31, 2008

You dumb bastard

So there's this story over here about a deer that got into some dude's house, tried to kill it's reflection, and trashed the place trying to get out. From the article "...when he approached the shattered glass and found blood smeared on the walls of the living room..." yadda yadda yadda "A second or two later, a deer poked its head around the corner." Add a few more witty comments, then we get to the jackass of the year speech. "The men tried to wrestle the deer to the ground and hoped to lead it outside -- Morgan said he didn't want Amburn to shoot the deer. It would have made a bigger mess." Now, I'm all for not killing the deer folks. But the reasoning behind this one is downright pathetic. Jerry [Morgan], if I'm ever down in Parker City, I'm coming to rob you. I'll be safe, we all know you wouldn't want to make a mess.

So it gets better, or at least stays lateral, you decide. This guy goes on to, well... "It looks like Charles Manson got loose... It looks like helter skelter." So this must be some crazy horrible shit right? Deer parts all over the place, blood soaked floors, children crying. Check it out, that picture over there, that's... Come on! I've had nose bleeds that have produced more blood than that! And that's straight from the article so you know it's the worst [best] one they've got. Granted this is probably the biggest breaking story... What's this place called.... oh yea, Parker City.. probably the biggest story Parker City's seen in 20 years, but come on guys.

One last thing there Jerry, you say "A disaster cleanup company is coming today", I say I'll wipe that shit off your wall for 1/2 what you're paying them. You have to be one lazy bastard. That or it's time to fire your photographer. Best wishes with the insurance company.

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posted by Vaelek @ 7:56 PM Comments: 0